So there I am, hanging under my canopy, watching a tandem glide away from me and marvelling at physics, human innovation and the universe in general, when I turn towards the landing zone to gauge my progress so I can work out an approach. There's a technique we use to work out where we're going to land. As you sink your perspective of the ground changes. The top of your view gets shallower, the bottom gets steeper. The point where these affects meet, where your view stays steady, that's where your going to land. After couple of seconds I realise everything in front of me is getting shallower. I'm going straight down.
I have a problem. A parachute moves through the air at a certain forward speed. But the air moves as well. We call this phenomenon 'wind'. So if you're moving with the wind you speed over the ground is increased, and when your moving against it it reduced. If you fly directly into the wind, and it's at a speed roughly the same as the forward speed of your parachute, you'll go nowhere. And I was. Fast.
I was a few hundred metres from the nearest edge of the Landing Zone, but I didn't panic. Headcorn, the drop zone, has a great location, surrounded by nothing but fields (and a few lion cages). Plus the winds will be slower at lower altitudes, so I might get some penetration then (no sniggering - that's the technical term).
I pick a field just ahead of me that looks good, aside from being full of sheep. I was supposed to be testing out a new canopy, to see how it flies. That idea is discarded now - I want to land as close to the drop zone as possible, so I keep the canopy facing into the wind. However, I do a couple of flat turns - these are safe even close to the ground, and stalls as these will slow my landing to a more comfortable pace. Pretty soon I'm at a thousand feet and barely any closer the the DZ. I'm thinking about nothing but landing, and the sheep field is looking pretty good.
I should explain at this point that I'm not only one whose completely focused on my actions. My girlfriend, Monika, is waiting back at the drop zone.She doesn't understand the intricacies of skydiving, yet, but she may have figured out something's wrong. I hope she's not worrying about me.
Monika's view of me - when I'm landing a canopy that actually goes forwards.
As I get lower I start to move forward, slowly. At 500' I realise I'm going to come close to the hedge at the edge of my field, so I put in a couple of flat turns to burn some altitude then line up into the wind. The sheep scatter as I get low - I can't help but grin - then I'm flaring as the ground comes up to meet me. It looks pretty good but there are too many unknowns in play so I drop into a Parachute Landing Fall - the safest, but least glamorous way of touching down. I get up, collect up my parachute, and start the walk back to where I should have been. Piece of cake.
I get back to the landing zone in time to catch the minivan back to manifest, and get the front seat. As we pull up I see Monika standing against fence closest to the LZ. I give a big smile, hoping she never noticed anything was wrong. Not a chance. I get a look back that suggests she doesn't know whether to kiss me or slap me. I was lucky. I got the kiss.
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