Business as usual

In many ways today was unremarkable. In the most important ways, it was great.

As is typically the case I got to the drop zone later that I wanted, and found it to be the hive of activity you would hope on such a glorious day. After such a long lay-off I needed some recurrency training, but with things so busy it took forever to get time with an instructor. Training was passed easily, I don't think I could forget my emergency procedures if I wanted to, and I was lucky enough to get on the next load.

I don't mind admitting that the time away from the sport had knocked my usually high confidence and on the flight-line the Jump Master, the jumper who was coordinating the load, picked up on my nerves. Speaking with him and another skydiver I let them know history indicated I'd be fine as soon as I got out of the plane, not realising I had set up the best moment of the day.

On the jump run one of the jumpers I had been talking with happened to be the man out before me and after making a normal exit, as I was setting up in the door, he flipped onto his back and gave me a big smile and thumbs up. I instinctively  reciprocated, and as he fell away and I got ready to go the feeling of pure (for want of a better word) awesomeness of what I was doing was irrepressible. Then I went.

The jump was what I'd expect after a long break. My exit was poor but I corrected it with an easy flip. I did nothing in freefall, just loving the sensation I had all but forgotten. This time my deployment was clean and I got to keep the first canopy that appeared above me. My landing pattern was neat but my touch-down sloppy, requiring a dropped knee. Then it was done, and I was pleased to be back.

Second confession: I've been wondering if skydiving is still for me. It's a lot of effort, it's dangerous and it's expensive. But it's worth it. Now I've reminded myself how it feels I know I want to keep going. I'm still not sure how involved I'm going to be. Right now, with the last of the dopamine being replaced by that contented feeling you get after any special exertion I want to jump as much as possible, but in a few days time I'll have bills to pay and weekend plans and so I may only do a few jumps a year.

That's fine. I've always put safety first and as long as I continue to ensure I'm not a danger to myself or anyone else on the load skydiving just be a special treat. In a weird way I'm quite excited to find out exactly which way I go.

History Repeating

Skydiving is expensive and heavily weather dependent. At the start of last year I had no choice to take a long break from it, first because the English winter does not provide many days a sane man would jump in, and then because my bank account became stretched to its limits with other pressures. When I finally did jump, in May, I had my first ever malfunction. In training you drill and drill but until you actually find yourself at 6000' with a parachute that has failed to deploy in a land-able configuration you don't know how it's going to go. Seeing as I walked away from it, I think it went pretty well.

The weather this year has been very poor, and though it's picked up in the last couple of months I've chosen to spend a lot of money and time doing other things that could not be rescheduled. I don't regret these choices for a second, but it has meant jumping has had to take a back seat again. Tomorrow I hope to make my first jump in months. And it's May. Damn.

The jury is still out on exactly how much the mal was my fault. Lineovers are mysterious things, poor body position on my part may have contributed, but equally it could have been dumb luck. In truth, knowing how well it turned out, I'm glad it happened. It's a real test I've passed, and a great story I'll tell for the rest of my life. But I'd rather not go through it again.